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Thappad - Is it okay to compromise self-respect, even once?


Hindi Film released on - February 27, 2020


My Review - written on March 8 , Women’s Day

A tight, meaningless , impulsive and out -of - nowhere slap , in the middle of a house party turns out to be the catalyst for nudging the introspective mind and shuffles the dynamics between a happily married couple. 

The premise of a loving, ‘made of each other ‘ kind of marriage shown in the beginning of the film, seems fraudulent when the husband doesn’t even do the least by offering a timely and genuine apology for the thappad ( slap) that he conveniently plants on his wife , almost as a reflex to the insult hurled at him by his boss. What is offered instead, are numerous justifications , coupled with an expectation of her ‘understanding’ of ‘his’ rage. Firstly ,it was someone else’s fault to have rubbed him the wrong way. Now, her insensitivity wasn’t helping. Also, It would be inconvenient for him to be judged harshly by his neighbours . 

You can only cringe in disgust when you realise that the man simply acts upon his sense of entitlement, and treats the wife as the objective beholder of ‘his’ image and everything that ‘he’ is. It’s never really about ‘her’ . 

Following this incident, the unshakeable grit of a self respecting woman becomes the real hero which carries this film on its shoulders. Tapasee Pannu simply shines in her role as Amrita , a housewife who by choice having dedicated her life to her family, firmly decides to take no nonsense in return. And will not settle for anything less or anything more than restoring her self pride. 

Her lawyer Nethra, no matter how successful she is , must always be reminded that her career graph is the ‘privilege’ of being married into an illustrious family . Her own capabilities are dismissed and trashed by the celebrity journalist husband. She’s no more than a trophy wife for him. To escape this feeling of inadequacy and suffocation, she looks for companionship outside marriage where she’s treated a little more than an equal, and feels compensated for how she’s placed at home. 

For the housemaid Sunita, there is no redemption from her alcoholic and violent husband. The only way to get back is to give him a taste of his own medicine. 

The movie feels like a thappad on the face of our patriarchal society, which objectifies and treats women as lesser mortals. It’s stereotypical thinking that women come with an inbuilt programme of patience , tolerance for bullshit and peaceful silence as a mark of the gracious feminine. 

The story does bring in hope, though, showing that we still have those sensible and sensitive men amongst us, like Amrita’s father in the film, who treat people right.  And women like the self sufficient, single mother Shivani (Dia Mirza ) who isn’t willing to compromise her standards of an ideal man as a partner. 

A deed done is done. It can’t be undone surely, but in most cases the emotional healing is almost instantaneous when there is genuine apology and remorse for any wrongdoing especially when it’s impulsive or accidental. 

Go watch this brilliant movie and deep delve into our patriarchal mindset. Debatable, a little too long, but worth your time. 

Nahi maar sakta. Ek baar bhi nahi. 

Happy Women’s Day! 

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